


Not Enough (Kylo Ren x Reader) AU

by MoonlightRen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Smut, So much angst, The First Order, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, im sorry im an angsty girl, so much smut its disgusting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:48:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightRen/pseuds/MoonlightRen
Summary: ☾ 18+ ONLY ☽ AUKylo Ren is a successful business man to put it lightly. As Vice President of his company, First Order, he is the next in line for CEO. His life is his work, and the only thing that keeps his demons at bay.Y/n is a lost soul. She is constantly running from something, and using self destructive behaviors to cope with the ever lasting darkness.These two are unknowingly running themselves into the ground. But what happens when they cross paths? How can two people with only devils on their shoulders co-exist?It's simple: They can't.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren / Reader, Kylo Ren/You, kylo ren x reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. I'll be sure to enroll in the D.A.R.E. program tomorrow

_It's worse at night_   
_When the addiction pulls_   
_I feel the absence_   
_No one to hold_

The music flowed through your veins. Your head was in another universe; some would say it was far, far away.

The vibrations of the night club pounded through your chest. You gripped the cold drink in your hand, trying to keep the liquid inside at bay as you swayed along with the music. Your best friend Rey was in front of you, mimicking your movements.

The dance floor was littered with liquid and other substances. At this time of night the place was filthy, but you were too gone to care. It was foggy; multi-colored strobe lights bounced off the smoke in different directions. The music blasted through your ears and electrified your skin.

You looked to Rey and smiled widely. You were happy. Pure euphoria ran through your veins. This was the high you constantly chased. The only thing that kept your demons at bay.

You knew it would end; it always did. Time was ticking, and the crash was inevitable. Savoring every ounce of happiness you had was crucial before it all washed away. 

Rey grabbed your hand and spun you around while you laughed. Your hair splattered all around your face, sticking to the beads of sweat on your forehead. Taking the bottle to your lips, you gulped the remaining contents before handing your empty bottle to a stranger who stared at you strangely, but accepted it.

"Come, let's sit!" Rey yelled over the music as she grabbed your arm and lead you toward a dark area of the club. You both fell onto a black couch, basically sitting on top of each other.

The room was spinning and your vision was blurry. You felt overheated in your leather jacket. Glancing at your combat boots you noticed they were covered with alcohol and dirt. You frowned for a moment before returning your gaze to Rey.

"Who are you texting?" You tried to ask over the noise.

She showed you the screen of her phone and you squinted trying to read.  
  


_01:05am where r u_

_01:05am_ **_Sky bar, and you?_ **

_01:06am drunk_

_01:06am_ ** _Haha, I can see that. But where?_**  
  
  
"Where are we?"

You pursed your lips and looked around before laughing. Rey joined in, your laughs both contagious to each other.

"Fuck, uh, Secrets!"  
  
"Oh my gosh you're so smart." Rey mumbled as she began to type. You leaned your head on her shoulder and watched the screen.

  
_01:08am secrets_

_01:08am_ **_That's a... loud place. You should come here._ **

_01:09am omg_   
  


"Let's go to Sky Bar!" Rey squealed as she shook her phone in excitement.  
  
"I- where- isn't that place for like... fancy people?"

"What, we're not fancy?!" Rey yelled, looking at you with droopy eyes. You laughed.

"Look at us!" You yelled back, looking down at your clothes and hers.

"I think we look fucking hot. Let's go," Rey grabbed your hand and you shook your head with a closed smile.

Stepping outside was a nice refresher. The cool air bit your cheeks and you took a deep breath.

Grabbing the black box out of your purse, you took out a cigarette and put it to your lips. You flicked the lighter and watched the orange flame ignite the stick. You inhaled before pushing the smoke out of your lips.

"Okay, a Lyft is gonna be here like any minute to take us."

"Does he know I'm coming?"

Rey stared at you disapprovingly.

"What! Don't give me that look." You said, taking another puff. The smoke filled the air around you and the smell was delicious to you. 

"He knows wherever I go, you go. Duh."

You smirked before pressing the end to your lips and inhaling.

"Gimme," Rey demanded, signaling for your stress reliever.

Handing it over you watched her draw smoke into her lungs, the burn of the cigarette growing more and more ash. You admired her beauty as your heart felt like it was going to burst.

"I love you so fucking much." You slurred, and she glanced at you and smiled.

"Soul sisters forever, bitch." She said before handing you back the cigarette.

Your ride pulled up and you dropped what was left of the stick to the ground before crushing it with your boot. 

Sliding in the car next to Rey, you inspected the driver. He didn't look interesting enough to talk to, especially during your not so sober state. Opting for the window you embraced the silence.

As Rey texted, you leaned your head against the cold glass. You watched the city lights and tall buildings pass you by. This was the view you could never get sick of. The city lights ignited something in you. The magic of it all topped with the endless possibilities.

You turned your head to Rey and saw her biting her lip.

"Are you sexting?" You asked and she blushed.

"Shut up!"

"Let me see!" You yelled and grabbed her phone.

_01:21am im in the lyft_

_01:21am i cant wait to see u_

_01:21am_ **_I'm anxiously waiting, beautiful._ **

_01:22am i cant wait to see ur sexy ass_

_01:22am_ **_Oh, I'll do more than just show you it._ **

_01:22am o yea? what r u gonna do_

_01:23am_ _**Hmm. I'm thinking of shoving my hard cock into your tight cunt and pounding you relentlessly.** _

_01:23am omg plz_

_01:23am bar top counter i dont give a fuck_

_01:23am_ **_I can't have the whole bar staring! That's what my king sized bed is for._ **

_01:23am king sized bed for ur king sized dick_   
  
  


You laughed out loud at the last text and shook your head, handing her back her phone.

"You're ridiculous."

"Nah, I'm horny and drunk. And horny."

"We're here, ladies." The driver interrupted and you yelled a thanks before exiting the vehicle. If you were in a sober stated you would've been embarrassed by your conversation in front of a stranger. But you weren't sober, and you hardly ever were.

The words SKY BAR was written in neon on the building in front of you. This place was definitely fancier than clubs you and Rey frequently visit, and it had a reputation for only allowing the "attractive" and "wealthy" inside.

A bouncer stood at the door and surveyed you and Rey.

"Can I help you ladies?" The bald man asked, folding his arms.

"Uh, oh, I'm supposed to give you a name."

The man stared at her, not at all entertained with her drunken state.

"Poe Dameron." Rey said proudly, and you smiled.

The bouncer reached his hand up to his headset and repeated the name, and once he got confirmation from whomever was on the other side he nodded.

He grabbed the red velvet rope that was restricting you access and moved it aside.

"Enjoy girls."

"Thanks!" Rey squealed before running inside. She knew you'd follow, she was the leader after all. 

There was a small bar inside, dimly lit with walls plastered in alcohol containers. Behind them were cyan blue lights illuminating the bottles. Small tables sat to the right of you, with a few girls in dresses sitting at them.

Rey kept walking straight until she reached the back of the bar. There was a gold elevator in the center and she pressed the button, signaling the machine to come.

You turned around to stare at the people here. Most men were in business casual, and most women in cocktail dresses and heels. You glanced down at your leather ensemble and dirty boots and shrugged. It's not like you had the mental capacity to care right now.

The elevator dinged and you both entered. Rey was still texting on her phone and you decided to pull out yours. Your heart sank when you saw you had no notifications. It was expected, but it still stung every time. 

The doors opened and you both walked out onto the rooftop. A large lit pool was in the center with people standing around it. Music was blasting in the background. A long bar ran along the roof with different patrons sitting and drinking. A dance floor was in front of a DJ booth and you could see groups of girls dancing.

"There," Rey said before taking off. You followed her over to the bar. She tapped his shoulder and he swiveled around in his seat.

"Poe!" She yelled, before leaning in and kissing him. He smiled between kisses and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hi baby," he mumbled against her lips. They finally broke apart and Poe glanced to you and smiled.

"Hey there, nice to see you again." His smile was genuine and you returned the same sentiment.

Rey took a seat next to him and you took a seat next to her. You knew she would be preoccupied with him for a while, as she usually was. Your heart ached for some kind of attention that Poe gave her, but you would never admit it. You didn't need anyone.

At least, that's what you constantly told yourself.

"This place is crazy," Rey yelled before taking a drink. You watched and figured Poe must've ordered her one.

"Uh yeah I guess. Nobody is in swimming attire, though." You said, looking back in your seat at the pool. Poe laughed at that.

"I don't think anyone has swam in that pool. It's really just for the aesthetic."

That's something you didn't understand about the richer part of town. Impractical things just for show, it didn't make any sense to you. 

You glanced down at your hands and saw them shaking and you knew. This part of the night was always inevitable, and you always had to make a choice. Let the crash come or prevent it for a little longer. Looking around the rooftop, you were pleased with the amount of people still out and partying. You decided you wanted to stay and keep that same energy, regardless if Rey was going to stick around or not.

Hopping off the bar stool you wandered away to find the bathroom, Rey oblivious to your absence. This wasn't anything new. Often you two would go your separate ways during the night, reconnecting the next day.

You found a door that you assumed was the bathroom, judging by the long line in front of it. Frowning, you noticed the door next do it was empty. You stared at the line of girls before making your decision and you stormed your way into the men's bathroom.

Inside was pretty standard. The gray tiles on the wall and floors with fluorescent lighting that hung above. Both bathrooms were disgusting at this point, so being in the men's didn't make a difference. Except for the weird urinals on the wall.

Entering a stall you closed the door before taking off your pants to pee. You sighed at the release, not realizing how badly you've had to pee this whole time. Standing up you buttoned your black jeans before taking out a small black compact out of your purse.

You looked around and cursed to yourself. Usually when you snorted whatever drug you favored that night, you chose the bathroom to do it. It wasn't always ideal, but sometimes you lucked out and the toilet paper holder would have a flat surface suitable for this. 

Sighing, you took out a small plastic bag from the compact. The mens bathroom didn't have purse holders either and you groaned. 

"This shit is pathetic." You said to yourself. 

Dropping your items on the floor you focused. Looking around the stall you bit your lip, finding a flat surface for your drugs.

"Fuck." you whispered. Opening the small plastic baggy, you dumped some of the white powder on the toilet seat. Grabbing an old gift card from the compact, you started organizing the drug into an even line. Plugging your nostril, you brought your head to the seat and inhaled. The drug invaded your sinuses and instantly sent a rush throughout your body. The euphoria started biting your insides, working its way through your arms and down your legs. 

After quickly wiping your nose, you shoved your items back in your purse and exited the stall. You were a little alarmed to see a tall figure standing there washing his hands. You walked over next to him to wash yours.

"Sounded like you were having fun in there." The man said. You glanced over to him nervously before returning your vision to your hands.

"Um, you want some?" You offered, and he shook his head with a smirk before shaking his hands above the sink, the excess water flying off.

"No, I don't do that anymore. Never leads to anything good."

You turned off the water and waited for him to move so you could grab a paper towel.

"Yeah?"

He threw away his paper towel and turned to stare at you. His hair was to his shoulders and raven colored. His smirk showed a dimple which you admired. He leaned against the bathroom wall and folded his arms. His navy sweater complimented his broad shoulders.

"Oh, you disagree?" He asked, clearly amused.

You started swaying, the effects from the drug clearly kicking in.

"Yeah, I do."

"Hm."

"What?"

He looked you up and down before continuing.

"You don't look like you're a regular."

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked, hands on your hips. Another man entered the restroom, confused with your presence but ignored it and entered a stall. You realized you were still standing in the men's bathroom.

"Come." He said before exiting the doors. You watched the door shut and you wordlessly followed, confused but intrigued.

You saw him walking towards the opposite side of the pool. As you followed you glanced over to the long bar and saw Rey and Poe's seats empty. Just like earlier with your phone, you weren't surprised but it didn't make it hurt any less.

The man led you toward a fire pit with large couches surrounding it. There were many of these little areas along the rooftop. This one, however, was empty.

"Are these for public use?" You asked curiously, before taking a seat on the plushy couch.

"No, you have to rent them."

"And you did?"

"Mhm." He said, before grabbing a glass of amber colored liquid that was sitting on a table next to the couch. He brought it up to his lips and took a sip as you watched. This man was definitely attractive and way out of your price range. 

"Well, where are all of your friends?"

He chuckled before bringing the drink down to his lap.

"They went home."

"Lame." you said, before taking out a cigarette.

"Smoking's bad for you." The man said, taking another sip of his drink. The same smug look stayed on his face and it irritated you.

"Thanks dad. I'll be sure to enroll in the D.A.R.E. program tomorrow." You said, while blowing smoke out of your mouth.

He laughed at that and your cheeks burned. You enjoyed the sound of it, and his lack of laugh lines proved he didn't do it often.

You pulled out your phone and glanced at the time. It was a little bit after 2am, and you sighed.

"Is it bedtime?" He asked, staring at your curiously.

"I don't want it to be." You muttered before putting your phone away.

"We could always take this party elsewhere," he said before leaning his posture back on the couch.

"Uh, yeah, I don't even know your name. That's not dangerous at all."

"Says the girl who just did cocaine in the men's bathroom."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Fair point."

He lifted his glass as to mimic a cheers and you tried to suppress your smile, shaking your head.

"So what's your name?" You asked, taking another drag from your cigarette.

"Kylo."

"Interesting name."

"Yeah? What's yours, cocaine girl?"

You rolled your eyes before stating your name.

"I like it. So what do you say? Wanna get out of here?" He asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

You surveyed his face for a moment.

"Fuck it."


	2. Didn't realize I was about to fuck a rich guy

_I'm living out my dreams  
_ _Like every night  
_ _I love my life  
_ _But when I open up my blurry eyes  
_ _It's not as nice_

The ride over was impressive. Instead of an Uber or Lyft, a fancy black car came to pick you up. You couldn't tell what the luxury brand was, nor did you care, you just knew it was nice.

The ride would've been awkward if you weren't under the influence. You two barely spoke, and sitting next to a stranger in a strange car should've been unnerving. But it wasn't. If anything, it was exhilarating.

The car stopped and you knew it was time to get out. You were met with a tall building, your neck almost couldn't bend far back enough to see the top.

"Whoa," you whispered. You heard a chuckle beside you.

"Let's go." The voice said, and you moved your head back normal.  
  
Walking through the lobby was a blur. You couldn't make out much in your mental state, but you could tell by the marble floors it had to be nice. Nicer than anything you would ever have money for, at least.

The elevator dinged and you entered with Kylo, and once the doors closed his hands were on your cheeks. He brought his lips to yours and you gasped at the sudden contact before returning the gesture. His tongue prodded your lips and you opened, allowing him to enter. His tongue battled with yours as you explored each other's mouths. You were so wrapped up in the kiss you didn't realize the door opened until he broke away from you, silently leaving the elevator. You stood there dumbfounded until you remembered you were supposed to be following him.

He walked down the hallway until he stopped in front of a door you assumed was his. You swayed back and forth as he opened it.

Following him inside your jaw dropped. The entire back and right side of the apartment was filled top to bottom with windows. The city lights illuminated the apartment, with aid from the moonshine.

"Don't turn on the light," you whispered as you walked through the place. From what you could make out, the living room sat in front of the kitchen. A large wrap around couch sat next to the window, and in front was a fireplace that held a large TV.

You dropped your things on the wooden coffee table before sitting on the couch. The cushions were large and plushy, much bigger than a standard couch.

"Fuck, this shit is like a bed."

"Mm." Kylo mumbled before sitting beside you.  
  
"Didn't realize I was about to fuck a rich guy," you muttered before straddling his hips.

"Oh? That change your mind?" He asked before you leaned down to put your lips on his.

"No, I just might have to come back for seconds." You said while grinding your hips against his. His breath hitched at the movement.

"And who said I wanted you back for seconds?" His large hands felt their way up your sides and to your breasts. He squeezed them through your clothing.

"Trust me, you'll want more." You whispered, the substances in your blood stream giving you courage.

You stripped off your jacket and tossed it on the floor. His hands found the hem of your shirt and lifted it off you with ease. You leaned down and your lips connected. His hands moved up your back to unclasp your bra. He helped you remove it before you shifted your chest up, giving his face full access to your tits.

His mouth devoured your breast and you moaned, as his other hand reached up to tweak the free nipple. He rolled your nipple ring around his fingers which caused you to grind your hips against his.

Leaning back, you tugged on his sweater signaling for him to remove it. He pushed you to the side, your back colliding with the cushions. You watched him as he stripped off his shirt and your mouth watered. His broad shoulders were met with large arms, which brought you to his hands. Biting your lip you stared at them, wanting them to be inside of you. Hearing him unbutton his pants your eyes lifted back to his and you found him smirking at you. 

He stripped off his pants, pants that were far too nice for a bar scene you thought, and exposed his muscular thighs. You couldn't believe a man as attractive as him had any interest in fucking you.

Mimicking his movements, you reached down and slid off your leather pants and panties, tossing them somewhere on the floor beneath you.

He joined you back on the couch, his member standing proud, practically making you drool at the sight. You wanted to be shocked at how thick it was, but you weren't even surprised at this point. Everything about this man embodied large.

He leaned over you and kissed you, and you felt his cock brush past your cunt. You let out a heavy breath.

"Do you have a condom?" You whispered, and he groaned.

"Fuck condoms." He muttered, sliding the tip of his cock against your folds causing you to shutter.

"And you won't be fucking me unless you use one."

He reluctantly got off the couch and walked over to his pants, searching through the deep pockets. He pulled out his wallet and grabbed a condom that was inside of it.

You idly rubbed your clit as you waited. He put the wrapper to his teeth and held it there as he ripped the condom open. You watched his shaggy hair cover part of his face as he bent down to roll it on.

Returning back to you, his lips met your neck and he sucked before biting.

"That better, princess?" He asked, while his cock teased your clit.

"Yes," you breathed.

He brought his head above yours and gently pushed the tip inside.

"Do you want it?"

"Yes," you whispered, already starting to lose your breath.

"Beg for it."

"Please, fuck me."

He gently pulled his tip back out and in again, and you scratched his back in anticipation.

"Please, Kylo, fuck me-" He shocked his cock all the way in without warning and you moaned loudly.

"Good girl." He praised as he thrusted into you with deep, hard strokes.

"Fuck." You brought your hands into his hair and gripped. His lips went back to your neck and he sucked on your pulse point. Giving him better access, you wrapped your legs around his waist and he increased his movements. His cock reached you deeper, hitting your cervix with every thrust. Your breaths became quicker and more apparent. He was grunting against you, your hard nipples brushing against his chest.

"Turn over." He demanded, slipping out of you.

You frowned at the loss of being filled but followed directions and turned on your stomach, bringing your ass in the air. He smacked your ass cheek and you moaned.

"Dirty girl." He said lowly, voice dripping with desire. He smacked the other cheek with more force and your pussy clenched at the sting. Th mix of pain and pleasure invading your core.

He brought his cock to your hole again and shoved in, hands gripping your ass. He squeezed your cheeks hard as he thrusted in and out of you, his movements increasing. Your ass bounced against him as the room filled with sounds of sex. 

Your hand snaked down to your cunt and you rubbed your clit. He noticed these movements and you heard him groan above you, his hips speeding up.

"Tell me when you're gonna cum," he said with ragged breaths. All you could do was moan in response, pussy gripping his cock tight.

You rubbed in circles faster and faster, feeling pleasure from both your clit and your core. You felt the release coming and you didn't dare stop your movements.

"I'm-I'm close," you said, your free hand gripping the couch cushion.

He slapped your ass again as he continued to plow into you. His moans started to become more strained and you knew he wasn't going to last.

Your orgasm came and took over you, forcing your eyes to shut and the white light covered your vision. The euphoric sensation took over your body and you moaned loudly, shaking and squeezing your pussy against his cock.

This was enough to send him over the edge and he groaned behind you, signaling his own release. His movements became less and less until he stilled. You laid there trying to compose yourself after being thoroughly fucked.

You felt him slip out of you and you sighed, your core already sore from the repeated intrusion. He disappeared down the hallway as you sat up, trying to collect yourself.

He walked back into the living room with sweatpants on but no shirt. You admired the view while trying to shove your pants back on.

"What are you doing?" He asked, walking over to the kitchen to open the fridge.

"Uh, leaving." You felt it. The high was wearing off. The feeling of ecstasy was fading away.

Grabbing your shirt you pushed it over your head and popped your arms through it. You whipped your hair out of the collar before finding your jacket on the floor.

"You can have the couch, if that makes a difference." He said while taking a sip of a water bottle. You swung your purse around your shoulders and went to get your boots.

"I don't do sleepovers."

Kylo stood there silently, his eyes watching you. You put your last boot on before standing. You had to grab the side of the couch to steady yourself, the inevitable crash coming in full force.

"You can use my driver to get you home." He stated, whipping out his phone.

"No, that's okay."

"It wasn't a suggestion." He stated, not bothering to look up. You stood there awkwardly as he typed.

"Okay, ew. I don't even know you, your driver could be sending me to a slaughter house."

His eyes looked to you amused. "You just came to a stranger's apartment, from a stranger's car, while high on drugs and whatever else, to sleep with said stranger. And _now_ you're concerned?"

You rolled your eyes and folded your arms.

"Shut up."

His phone dinged and he walked over to you.

"Give me your phone."

"Jesus, you're so demanding." You reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone and handed it over.

"Password." He requested.

"What, you gonna ask me for my social security number too?"

He chuckled at you and shook his head. 

"Now, why would I want that?"

You looked around his fancy and no doubt expensive apartment and sighed.

"Fuck off. Someone out there would love to steal my information. I could be valuable, you don't know."

He turned the phone toward you and waited, unamused by your comment. You punched in your password. It unlocked and he turned it back to him.

After a moment the phone locked and he handed it back to you.

"There. My number is in there. If my driver so happens to drive you to a slaughter house, you can text me."

"Yeah, that's gonna work when you're gonna be the fucking slaughterer!"

He laughed at that and sighed.

"Go. The driver is here."

You nodded and walked over to the door.

"Bye psycho killer." You said while turning the handle.

He didn't respond.

//

The driver dropped you off at your apartment and you slowly dragged yourself into the small space. You shared the apartment with Rey, but since she was with Poe you rarely saw her here.

Once inside, you stripped off your jacket and threw your purse to the ground. The tiredness was starting to succumb you. The room was spinning and you felt nauseous. All you wanted to do was pass out in your bed and not wake up for days.

You entered your room and didn't bother to turn a light on. You dropped your phone on the nightstand and stripped off your clothing until you were completely naked. Crawling in bed, you grabbed the covers and threw them on top of you. Sweat was dripping down your face as your heart pounded in your ears. Your hands were shaking as your stomach cramped in pain.

You kept your eyes shut as you felt the room spin around you, trying desperately to mentally hold on. This part was the worst. You tried to stay out later, keep your high longer, anything to keep yourself from returning back to your small apartment alone.

Coming home to nothing but yourself is sometimes too much.

You felt vulnerable, cold, and alone. The demons tried so hard to breach the surface, trapping you entirely.

The tears fell slowly down your cheeks as you kept your lids shut, wishing for sleep to come.

//

You're not sure when you did fall asleep, but you know you did judging by the ray of light in your room.

Your head was pounding. The overwhelming thirst hit you, and you realized how dry your throat was. You were nauseous but you weren't sure if it was from being hungover or if you were starving. Probably both.

Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes then stared at your hands. Mascara and eyeliner smeared on them and you sighed. Grabbing your phone from the night stand, you plugged it into the charger and unlocked it.

  
_bitch ur my soulmate:_

_12:34pm_ **_rise and shine bitch_ **

_01:06pm_ **_seriously? get the fuck up_ **

_02:17pm_ **_if ur dead im going to bring u back to life, then kill u again_ **

_03:36pm_ **_now this is just pathetic_ **

_04:52pm_ **_i'm coming home so your corpse better not be laying there_ **   
  
  


You smiled to yourself before typing out your reply.

  
_05:15pm relax cunt i just woke up_

  
Smiling to yourself, you stood up and wandered to the bathroom. You peed and walked over to the sink, staring at yourself.

Mascara was rubbed onto your eyelids, eyeliner on your cheeks. Lipstick was smeared on your chin. Your hair was a rats nest. You leaned over and surveyed your neck, noticing a few pink and purple spots from last night's rendezvous.

You heard the door slam open and you jumped, before realizing it was just Rey stomping through your shared place. She entered your bedroom without warning and into your bathroom.

"Oh, good to see you're fucking alive." She said, throwing her hands on her hips. You glanced over to her and smiled.

"You look like shit." She said, and you rolled your eyes.

"Thanks a lot, bitch. I just woke up."

"Yeah, I know. Get your ass in the shower, I'll order take out."

You walked over and turned the knob of the shower until warm water started spraying.

Already naked, you entered the shower and admired the heat. One thing you loved about nights out was getting clean after, and washing away all the regret.

Rey sat on your toilet as she scrolled through her phone.

"So what happened last night?" She asked.

You grabbed the shampoo and poured it into your hand. "I hooked up with someone and came home."

"Oh yeah? How was it?"

You smiled at the memory and started scrubbing your hair.

"Actually really good. He actually made me cum."

"Damn, that's a first."

"Yeah, right?"

The sounds of you rinsing your soapy hair filled the room.

"Wanna know the best part?"

"Sure."

"He was filthy rich."

You heard her gasp and pull back the curtain.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Rey! It's cold!" You said while laughing, closing the curtain against her will.

"Where was his place?"

"I don't know, I was fucked up. All I know is it was a huge, fancy looking place with a shit ton of windows. Most likely some fancy ass part of the city we're too broke to even walk through. _And_ he had a driver take me home."

"His own personal driver? Fuck. You gotta see him again."

"Yeah, no."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Rey said, shaking her head. She knew what you would say; it's what you always said. You don't need anyone. You're fine being single. You prefer it, even.

That was a lie. You knew it. You weren't sure if she knew it. But you weren't fine. And being alone made it worse. But the thought of being in a relationship?

Terrifying.

"How was your night?"

"Pretty standard. Went to Poe's. He railed me. Twice. Woke up. Railed again. Treated me to breakfast. Treated me to lunch. And now I'm here."

You sighed. You were happy for her, you were. But fuck.

"That sounds like a great night."

"Always is, babe. Well you finish up, dinner is on its way."

"Then what?" You asked over the stream of water.

"Then we go and do it all again."


	3. I'll show you cocky

_I used to like liquor to get me inspired  
_ _But you look so beautiful, my new supplier  
_ _I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking  
_ _But I found a different buzz_

You sat on the dirty couch and picked at your fishnets. You were drunk, as usual, but the bliss you were searching for wasn't there.

Rey brought Poe along for your night out which made you were disappointed. You kept that disappointment to yourself by downing your fourth rum and coke, but it didn't help nonetheless.

You stared at them blankly as they danced with each other. The strobe lights hitting their faces; happiness displayed on their expressions. They were totally wrapped in each other.

And you were totally alone.

You tried to dance with them earlier, or near them at least. But the connection you usually felt with Rey just wasn't there when she was connected to someone else.

Taking out your phone, you scrolled mindlessly on social media. It was no use, you were too drunk to comprehend or care about what was being posted.

You got an idea.

Searching through your contacts, you found it.

_rich guy:_

_12:12am hello?_

Maybe it was a fake number. Maybe it wasn't even his number. He probably wouldn't reply. You felt a little disheartened at the thought.

_Wait._

_Why do I care?_

You locked your phone and tried to focus on the music. Mindlessly nodding your head, you brought your 5th rum and coke to your lips and sipped. You started to forget about the text, or the stranger entirely.

Until your phone buzzed.

_rich guy:_

_12:13am **Oh, you weren't slaughtered.**_

_12:13am disappointed?_

_12:13am **Slightly.**_

Smiling, you recognized the buzzing feeling in your stomach. Picturing blue butterflies flying around excited you, then instantly terrified you. Sighing, you thought of what to say.

_12:14am what is a rich guy doing on this fine saturday_

_12:14am **Not cocaine.**_

_12:14am jokes on you, im not either  
_

_12:15am **So what are you doing?**  
_

_12:15am uh i asked you that first but im at a club_

_12:15am **Which one?**_

_12:15am red velvet or something_

_12:16am **Interesting.**_

_12:16am yep, what are you doing?_

_12:16am **Working.**_

_12:16am its saturday night? and its midnight?_

_12:16am **And?**_

_12:17am cant you wait until monday. who works on a saturday night?_

_12:17am **Work never waits.**_

_12:17am thats unhealthy. also_ _it waited last night_

_12:18am **Do you really want to discuss health habits? Also, that was a business meeting. I was entertaining clients.**_

_12:18am i was certainly not a client_

_12:18am **No, you definitely weren't.**_

_12:19m and i was definitely the most fun_

_12:19am **Got me there. I'm going now.**_

_12:20am fine_

Frowning at your phone you locked the device and headed towards the bar. Poe and Rey were standing there chatting, leaning on the bar counter.

"There she is!" Rey yelled before grabbing you tightly.

You smiled and returned her gesture before looking to Poe.

"Guys," Rey said, leaving your arms to stare into the lights. 

"Wow." She stated, before wrapping her arms around Poe's shoulders. "Everything is so bright."

"Blink, Rey." You said while chuckling.

Poe shook his head while he took a swig of his beer before turning to you.

"What, you didn't wanna _love_ love tonight?"

You smirked and shook your head, "Didn't feel like loving molly, that's for sure."

"I think I'm rolling." Rey whispered and you laughed.

"I think you're past that, babe."

Poe looked at her half with concern and half with amusement. 

"Should I take her home?"

"Mm, she's fine. But if it makes you feel better, you could always just put bright colors on your tv and she wouldn't know the difference."

He nodded and grabbed her waist.

"Let's go, Molly."

"Whose Molly?" Rey asked, staring at the ceiling as Poe guided her out.

Taking a seat at the bar you chewed your lip. The butterflies had died off which just left you with the empty feeling you've grown so accustomed to. The darkness had covered your bones for so long, it almost felt more uncomfortable trying to let in the light. The only way you were able to do that was with the aid of substances.

"Can I get you anything?" The bartender yelled over the music. You nodded.

"Another rum and coke and 2 tequila shots."

//

The rest of the night was a blur. After your second shot, things were a mystery. You briefly remembered dancing, talking to some girls in the bathroom and taking selfies with them, and random strangers handing you shots which you accepted.

You stood outside the club not sure what to do. It closed 20 minutes ago, but you didn't want to go home. You honestly weren't sure if you could get yourself home. Resting on the cool building, your head fell back and you closed your eyes. 

Your phone buzzed. Opening your eyes you tried to unlock your phone to read the messages. After various attempts, you finally entered.

_rich guy:_

_02:18am **Why did you text me?**_

Eyes growing wide at the text, you stood up straighter and tried to act as sober as possible.

_02:22am i dint_

_02:22am didnt_

_02:22am **Earlier.**_

_02:22am oh_

_02:22am wait was tht tonight_

_02:22am uh  
_

_02:22am_

_02:22am i cant remmer_

_02:23am **Are you drunk?**_

_02:23am no, im (y/n)._ **  
**

_02:23am lmfao_

_02:23am yes_

_02:23am and horny_

_02:24am **Hmm.**_

_02:24am hmmmmmmmmmm_

_02:24am **Come over.**_

_02:24am how_

_02:24am **Are you still at Red Velvet?**_

_02:25am yes but outside. it closed :(_

_02:25am im cold_

_02:26am and tired_

_02:26am are u still there?_

_02:27am **I'll send my driver.**_

_02:27am omg is he hot_

_02:28am **Watch it.**_

//

You chewed your nails as you stood outside the fancy apartment building, unsure what to do from here. You swayed in the wind, your fishnet leggings not protecting you from the cold wind.

Staring at your phone you pressed some buttons and hoped they were correct before bringing the device to your ear.

"Yes?" The dark voice asked, causing goosebumps to cover your skin.

"I'm outside."

"Okay." He stated and you waited for him to say something else. He didn't.

"It's cold."

"Well come in."

"I don't know how to get there!" You yelled. "Hold on."

You entered the door to the lobby and let out a short moan once the warm air hit you. You eyed a seating area in front of a lit fire and you booked it. Plopping down on the which couch caused a large sigh to leave your breath. It was very comfortable, especially after being on your feet for so long. 

"What's going on?" The voice on the other line said, and you jumped forgetting you were on the phone.

"Oh. Hi. I'm sitting."

"Sitting?" The voice asked, confused.

"Mhm."

"Are you in my building?"

You glanced around the room before speaking, "Does your building have marble floors and a nice big fireplace in the lobby?"

"Yes."

"Then yeeeah." You stretched and picked up your feet to rest on the coffee table. A security guard near by yelled at you to put them down.

"Ugh, fuck off." You mumbled.

"What is happening down there?" Kylo asked in an annoyed tone.

"I'm trying to rest. Mean people are interrupting."

"Well, maybe you should come up then."

"I can't get there. I'll get lost." 

"I'll direct you."

"No. Come get me." You whined into the phone, stomping your foot in protest. The guard stared at him and you made a face back.

"Fine. _Don't_ move."

The line went dead and you held your phone on your lap. Snuggling down further into the couch, your head rested against the back of it. Sleep started blurring your vision and overtake you, your thoughts starting to enter the dream world.

Your name was said and you didn't open your eyes. It was repeated and you flew open your eyes annoyed.

"What?! Oh, it's you." 

Kylo was standing there in a black t-shirt and jeans. He was staring at you in amusement. His hair was unruly, like he had been running his fingers through it.

"Your booty call has arrived." You said while smirking, trying to stand. He grabbed your forearm to steady you before signalling you to follow him. Walking past the security desk you stuck your tongue out at the guard.

Once in the elevator, you gripped the bars that ran along the sides for support. Kylo tilted his head as he looked you up and down.

"What?" You asked, furrowing your brow.

"Are you going fishing anytime soon?" He asked. You scrunched your brows in confusion until you realized he was referring to your fishnets.

"Do you want fucked or not?" You asked, glaring.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

"Do I need fishing gear?" He asked while exiting. You groaned, but followed.

You silently followed him to his apartment, and once inside you found it lit up. You were impressed to see it with the lights on. Even in your drunken state, you could tell it was a fancy place. 

You walked over to the living room and immediately slipped off your jacket, throwing it on one of the chairs that lined the long kitchen island. You kicked your boots off and plopped down on the gray couch. You noticed a bottle of some amber colored liquid opened with an empty used glass next to it. 

Putting your feet on the coffee table you noticed the MacBook near your feet and you raised your eyebrows.

"I'd ask how work is going but if you're working on a Saturday, gonna guess not well."

"Mm. Whiskey helps." He said, filling up the small glass in the kitchen.

"Do you work?" He asked, eyes still focused on his task.

"Yeah. There's an arcade by my house. There's a bar inside. Geeks give weirdly high tips."

He chuckled before walking over to the couch to sit next to you. He took a sip before setting the glass on a coaster.

"Whoa, a coaster. You're fancy fancy."

"Well, that coffee table was too expensive to ruin it with condensation." 

You raised an eyebrow. "How much are we talkin'?"

"Two thousand."

Your eyes almost fell out of your head. You took in a deep breath and glanced around.

"I don't wanna know how much this place is."

"A lot."

"No shit, Sherlock."

You swallowed and shifted in your seat, clearly uncomfortable.

"That makes you uncomfortable."

"You're really good at pointing at the fucking obvious. Not all of us have money like you."

"I work hard for it."

"And I _don't_ work hard?" You accused, folding your arms which caused the leather jacket to crinkle against your skin.

He sighed and grabbed his drink off the coffee table, taking a large drink.

"Okay, let's not talk about it anymore."

"Fine by me."

He stood up and walked over to the fire place and grabbed a remote. He pressed a button and the fireplace lit up. Another button was pressed and the lights dimmed, leaving the orange glow of the fireplace to illuminate the room.

He slowly sauntered over to you, staring at you with a glint in his eye.

Once he reached you he put his hands on your cheeks and leaned in, gently pressing his lips to yours.

"Let me make it up to you." He whispered, his hands traveling from your cheeks down the sides of your body.

His hands found your hips and he reached for the button to your distressed shorts. He easily glided them down your legs. Tossing them aside he spread your legs, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs.

"No panties? Dirty girl." He said slowly. His voice made your heart jump in anticipation.

His fingertips moved closer to your cunt and he put a finger through the fishnet and pulled. He ripped until a large hole around your cunt and you gasped.

"Hey! I liked these!"

He brought his finger up to your lips and hushed you.

"I'll buy you more."

You glared.

"Trust me."

You were confused at his words. You're just a hookup, why would he give a shit about your clothes?

Returning his attention back to your cunt he reached under your thighs and pulled until your pussy was close to the edge. His lips found your inner thighs and around your outer lips. You stared down at him with your hands gripping the couch. He brought his left hand to spread your lips apart, showing your erect clit. He blew on it, causing your toes to curl.Bringing his lips around your clit he sucked. Your hands found his hair and you tugged. 

His right hand came down to your entrance and a finger teased your hole.

"You're dripping for me, princess."

You bit your lip to prevent yourself from moaning. He slid a finger inside of you and curled. He continued sucking hard on your clit as you started rocking your hips against his face.

Alternating his movements from sucking to licking, he abused your clit further. He entered a second finger and continued his assault on your pussy.

"Fuck, right there! Don't stop, please don't stop!"

He thrusted his fingers harder into you and you groaned, your climax reaching closer and closer.

"Ky-Kylo-I'm-"

You fingers squeezed his scalp as you came on his fingers. Coming down from your high you tried to catch your breath, feeling instant euphoria in the warmth of Kylo's luxury apartment, a beautiful man at your cunt. 

He stared at you as you came down, removing his fingers from your soaked core. He brought them to his mouth and sucked and you moaned at the sight. Returning his mouth back to your center and he sucked up your juices. Your fingers gently ran through his hair, silently apologizing for being so rough.

Standing from the floor he leaned over your body, bringing his lips to yours. You tasted yourself on him and moaned as his tongue entered your mouth. Your hands found his chest and you pushed. Kylo understood and took a seat next to you on the couch.

Removing your shirt he did the same, you looked at his naked chest and smirked.

"See something you like?" He asked and you giggled.

"You're cocky." You said, kneeling down to unbutton his pants.

"I'll show you cocky." He asked and you laughed, shaking your head.

"That was a dad joke."

"Don't call me a dad."

Pulling his pants and briefs down to his knees, his cock sprung to life. You stared at it greedily.

Straddling his hips you rubbed your pussy against his shaft.

"How about daddy?" You whispered in is ear, and he moaned.

Reaching down you grabbed his cock and brought it to your entrance. His hand flew to yours and grabbed it gently.

"No condom?" He asked.

You shook your head, "Just pull out."

He nodded and removed his hand. You sat down on his cock and you both moaned in sync.

You began riding him with your hands on his shoulders. His hands found your breasts and he squeezed before he glided his hands down your sides to your hips. He gripped your skin and helped you bounce up and down on his cock.

Increasing your pace you brought your hands to his face and your lips found his. You moaned in each others mouths, your tongues dancing as you gripped your pussy around his cock. He broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you toward him. Your hands gripped the back of the couch as he lifted you up, thrusting his cock into you.

"Yes, yes! Fuck me daddy!" That earned a growl from him and he increased his pace. Your clit rubbed against his skin and you felt the release coming as he pounded into you relentlessly.

"I'm-I'm-" you couldn't get the words out as you came on his cock, coating him with your juices. He groaned and slipped out of you, making you sit on his knees. His hand grabbed his cock and he jerked it, sending hot cum over both of you. He groaned loudly as he came. Your head fell to his neck as you both tried to come down from your high. 

After a moment you slowly lifted off of him, feeling the soreness in your legs. He took you to the bathroom in the hallway and you went inside as he disappeared to his bedroom. Of course this bathroom was not only too large for a standard bathroom, but it was luxurious. It had black marble countertops with white cabinets, and a large mirror on the wall behind it. The toilet was black with a bidet, and the shower was covered in black tile with a waterfall faucet and the entire front made of glass.

You peed and cleaned yourself up, trying to make yourself look somewhat presentable. Staring at yourself in the mirror you looked at the smeared lipstick and running eyeliner and swallowed hard. 

_All I'll ever be is just a drunk fuck._

As you exited the bathroom and entered the living space, you found him in the kitchen refilling his glass.

"The driver will be here in five."

Your heart sank. 

_Stop. Did you really expect an invitation for a sleepover? You wouldn't have accepted it, anyways._

"Okay." You said softly. Taking a seat on the couch you watched the fire crackle as he drank his water.

"I'm going to bed. Make sure to shut the door."

He headed toward his bedroom and you sat in the multi-million dollar living room by yourself. 

A tear escaped your eye.


End file.
